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Not much of a choice
I can just see clearly enough again to write this. My old nemesis, Madame Migraine, has paid me another visit, blurring my vision. I recently read that people who suffer from migraines have a ’super brain‘. They think faster and more intensely than others, until at some point the system overloads and shuts down. Something…
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Lance
There is one scene in Graham Greene’s The End of the Affair in which the narrator, a writer called Bendrix, eaten up by jealousy of his former lover, meets a private detective he has hired to find out about her latest affair. The detective, Parkis, is a hard-working and honest man who takes his young…
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Die Ordnung der Dinge
Vom Eise befreit sind Strom und Bäche? Auf unserem Osterspaziergang sieht man weder den einen noch die anderen. Wir laufen die Mauermeile ab, schauen uns an, wo früher mal der „antifaschistische Schutzwall“ stand. Für die Touristen hat man den einstigen Verlauf mit einem Pflastersteinband (Beginn der Todeszone), drei bis vier Meter hohen Stahlstreben (die Mauer…
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La Grazia
Der italienische Autorenfilmer Paolo Sorrentino hat wieder einen rausgehauen. „La Grazia“ begleitet einen italienischen Staatspräsidenten durch seine letzten Monate im Amt. Und zeigt etwas, das wir in der Realität nicht oft sehen und vielleicht auch nicht sehen wollen: einen von Zweifeln, Skrupeln und Unsicherheit geplagten Politiker. Einen Menschen, der Entscheidungen nicht hinauszögert, weil er um…
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One true sentence
I don’t know why, but today Hemingway popped into my head. I remembered his advice that a good way to start a story was to write one true sentence. Perhaps I was subconsciously looking for something solid and stable, something to hold on to. At first, it seemed a promising approach. But then all I…
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The Bystander
I’m in a strange mood. I seem to have lost perspective. The past is hidden in a cloud of coloured dust. I know there are beautiful things in it, but I can’t make them out, can’t even name the colours anymore. A paradise lost in the noise, confusion and silent desperation of the present. The…
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Unfinished Business
Going through my notebook entries from the last few months. A heap of information, inspiration and introspection. Lots of story ideas. One is about a middle-aged divorced man who goes into the bathroom one morning and finds a sardine in his soap net. Another very random one: create a story that contains all the words…
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Die Wand
Kurze Atempause. Nachdenken. Den Efeublättern im Hinterhof dabei zusehen, wie sie vom Wind zerzaust werden. Tee und Kaffee trinken. Hin und wieder eine Zigarette rauchen, die nach jüngsten Studien das Leben um weitere 20 Minuten verkürzt. Presse schauen. Ein Wald in Uganda, in dem sich unzählige Viren tummeln und darauf warten, die nächste Pandemie auszulösen.…
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Twenty-four hours
Don’t be ungrateful. You’ve had about 24 hours, perhaps a bit less, of what ‘normal’ people have most of the time: the opportunity to take the day as it comes, without pain or blurriness or the constant sense of being everywhere and nowhere — least of all in the present situation — without fear of…
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After the skirmishes
Today wasn’t so bad. A few minor skirmishes that didn’t turn out the way I wished (why do I still have expectations, why do I still hope for some – most likely – illusory outcome?). But the war isn’t lost yet. The problem is that I don’t know what the war is about anymore. Life, like…